“Love and grief are inextricably intertwined.”
— David Kessler in Finding Meaning: the sixth stage of grief.
Perinatal Grief Services
Specialized services for grieving parents following the devastating loss of baby.
A provider who truly knows this kind of heartbreak.
Dr. Berman spent decades of her professional career working with those facing trauma and grief. That, of course, did not exempt her from suffering personal tragedy. She was absolutely devasted by the unexpected perinatal death of her only child, baby Kai. And it’s through her work in service to individuals facing suffering of all kinds, that I honor her beloved Kai and all in healing.
“There are losses that rearrange the world. Deaths that change the way you see everything, grief that tears everything down. Pain that transports you to an entirely different universe, even while everyone else thinks nothing has really changed.” — Megan Devine, It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand.
The death of a baby is a profoundly shattering experience. The agonizing pain and overwhelming grief of this loss is absolutely devasting. It can be hard to even breathe while grief takes its hold. It can feel impossible to see a way through this terrain. Grieving the death of a baby is an especially difficult thing to do in our grief illiterate society, which often fails to appropriately recognize, validate and respond to meet the needs of those grieving this traumatic loss.
Perinatal grief services are trauma-informed and psychoeducational therapeutic sessions that focus on the unique needs of parents who are grieving the loss of their baby. Thoughtfully informed by the work of world-renowned grief expert and bereaved parent, David Kessler, these sessions provide a safe and deeply validating space for this very special type of loss and helps to honor your unique grieving process.
Within the safety of the professionally facilitated sessions, bereaved parents can have their grief witnessed nonjudgmentally, just as they are. To help the mind and body regulate after traumatic loss, opportunities to explore trauma-and-grief informed coping and somatic resources are offered.
Perinatal and early infant loss often comes with painful and often unrecognized secondary losses, including loss of parts of our identity (Am I still a mother?), loss of fertility, loss of a sense of innocence, loss of confidence and enthusiasm for the future. A bereaved parent may find also themselves thrust into being childless not by choice. These are all their own true loss. They are a loss on top of a loss — and each then complicates our loss story. These secondary losses deserve to be named and grieved in their own right.
Finding meaning in such a tragedy can seem like an impossible task, particularly in the gut-wrenching earlier stages of grief. When faced with the often sudden and unexpected death of a baby, bereaved parents work incredibly hard to search for meaning for something so shockingly senseless. When the time feels right, it can be helpful to explore one of the profound aspects of our grief— finding meaning in your loss story.
As each person’s grief is unique, the process of finding meaning is deeply, personally relative and has its own timeline. Within one’s own grief, an enduring bond quietly sits and waits. In time, ways to sustain and honor the powerful love you have for your baby may let themselves be known.